Proverbs 31:30-31 | Charm is Deceitful & Beauty is Vain

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Introduction: Proverbs 31:30-31

Welcome to our Bible study  ‘AT FORESTS EDGE’! Let’s explore Proverbs 31:30-31 together!

I am glad you are meeting me AT FORESTS EDGE, where women can study the word of God together and encourage one another while we walk out our faith, embrace womanhood, and live fearlessly.

In this study of Proverbs 31, we will look at the twenty-seventh verse in context. I have broken the chapter up into mini-studies so that busy women like myself can take in the information in just a few minutes each day. 

If you have more time then feel free to continue to the next section whenever you are ready.

This study is perfect for a personal bible study or a women’s small group.

New here? The Proverbs 31 overview sets the stage for the context of the chapter, otherwise, let’s jump right into Proverbs 31 verses 30-31! 

Proverbs 31:30-31

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Proverbs 31:30-31 NKJV

Strong’s Definitions of Proverbs 31:30-31:

Favor- 

(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible  H2580)חֵן chên khane; from H2603; graciousness, i.e. subjective (kindness, favor) or objective (beauty):—favour, grace(-ious), pleasant, precious, (well-) favoured.

Decietful- 

(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible  H8267)שֶׁקֶר sheqer, sheh’-ker; from H8266; an untruth; by implication, a sham (often adverbial):—without a cause, deceit(-ful), false(-hood, -ly), feignedly, liar, lie, lying, vain (thing), wrongfully.

Vain– 

(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible  H1892)שֶׁקֶר hebel, heh’bel; or (rarely in the abs.) הֲבֵל hăbêl; from H1891; emptiness or vanity; figuratively, something transitory and unsatisfactory; often used as an adverb:—× altogether, vain, vanity.

Proverbs 31:30-31 Definitions from Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

CHARM, 

noun

1. Words, characters or other things imagined to possess some occult or unintelligible power; hence, a magic power or spell, by which with the supposed assistance of the devil, witches and sorcerers have been supposed to do wonderful things. Spell; enchantment. Hence,

2. That which has power to subdue opposition, and gain the affections; that which can please irresistible; that which delights and attracts the heart; generally in the plural.

The smiles of nature and the charms of art.

Good humor only teaches charms to last.

CHARM, verb transitive

1. To subdue or control by incantation or secret influence.

I will send serpents among you – which will not be charmed. Jeremiah 8:17.

2. To subdue by secret power, especially by that which pleases and delights the mind; to allay, or appease.

Music the fiercest grief can charm

3. To give exquisite pleasure to the mind or senses; to delight.

We were charmed with the conversation.

The aerial songster charms us with her melodious notes.

4. To fortify with charms against evil.

I have a charmed life, which must not yield.

5. To make powerful by charms.

6. To summon by incantation.

7. To temper agreeably.

DECE’ITFUL, 

adjective

1. Tending to mislead, deceive or ensnare; as deceitful words; deceitful practices.

Favor is deceitful Proverbs 31:30.

2. Full of deceit; trickish; fraudulent; cheating; as a deceitful man.

BEAU’TY, 

noun bu’ty.

1. An assemblage of graces, or an assemblage of properties in the form of the person or any other object, which pleases the eye. In the person, due proportion or symmetry of parts constitutes the most essential property to which we annex the term beauty In the face, the regularity and symmetry of the features, the color of the skin, the expression of the eye, are among the principal properties which constitute beauty But as it is hardly possible to define all the properties which constitute beauty we may observe in general, that beauty consists in whatever pleases the eye of the beholder, whether in the human body, in a tree, in a landscape, or in any other object.

VAIN, 

adjective [Latin vanus; Eng. wan, wane, want.]

1. Empty; worthless; having no substance, value or importance. 1 Peter 1:18.

To your vain answer will you have recourse.

Every man walketh in a vain show. Psalms 39:6.

Why do the people imagine a vain thing? Psalms 2:1.

2. Fruitless; ineffectual. All attempts, all efforts were vain

VAIN is the force of man.

3. Proud of petty things, or of trifling attainments; elated with a high opinion of one’s own accomplishments, or with things more showy than valuable; conceited.

The minstrels play’d on every side, vain of their art –

4. Empty; unreal; as a vain chimers.

5. Showy; ostentatious.

Load some vain church with old theatric state.

6. Light; inconstant; worthless. Proverbs 12:11.

7. Empty; unsatisfying. The pleasures of life are vain

8. False; deceitful; not genuine; spurious. James 1:26.

Summary of Proverbs 31:30-31

Charming or behaving favorably to win the affection of others is a deception. Beauty is worthless with no substance and will not last.

True beauty is a woman who is devoted to the Lord. She will be praised. 

The fruit produced by her devotion to God will represent her far above words or adornments.

My notes from Proverbs 31:30-31

What is Charm?

Charm ranges from a favorable demeanor to an incantation for a spell or an object imbued with power.

Proverbs 31:30 speaks about having a favorable demeanor. However, when you look at the word in context it is not that different from the latter two definitions. 

Charm is Deceitful

Proverbs 31:30 explains that charm is deceitful. Which made me pause. Wasn’t charm supposed to be a good thing? Prince Charming was supposed to be dreamy and perfect, right?

We are taught that charming people naturally gain the favor of others. Charming women are beloved by all.

Shouldn’t charm be something to strive for and practice? After all, entire books are dedicated to winning the favor of people. 

What is Charm?

The truth is, no we should not strive to be charming. Charm is a manipulation for selfish gain. Striving to be charming is a distortion of what the Lord truly wants for us, which is kindness.

A person can speak eloquently, or do what seem to be thoughtful actions that win the attention and admiration of others. Sometimes that can parade itself as kindness but it doesn’t necessarily fit the mold.

The Lord Looks at the Heart.

The difference between charm and true kindness is motivation. If our motivation is purely to win friendship, admiration, or favor then we have already missed the mark. 

When we are motivated by favorable attention we might be willing to change and do whatever it takes to keep that attention. That can be a dangerous predicament.

The motivation for kindness is love. When we are truly devoted and focused on God, the favor of other humans doesn’t even matter any longer. We are already fulfilled and made complete by the love of the Father. He is the only one that can fill that void. Seeking favor from people will ultimately fall short.

What is Kindness?

Kindness is the fruit that is produced from that love. The motivation is to honor God and live a life that brings glory to Him. We bless others without expectation. 

We do not need others to like us. We are kind despite the response we may get. Some people might even grumble or criticize our kindness. But we do it anyway. 

So in a world of charming, shiny people. Choose to diverge and be kind instead. 

James speaks pretty harshly on this matter. As you take in these words, consider which path you desire to be on.

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4

As I have taught in a previous study Proverbs 31:26, kindness is not the same as niceness.

Kindness is:

• Ability put into action to help others.
• Speaking truth in love even when it’s unfavorable.
• Looking at the big picture instead of having a narrow view that only focuses on self.
• Kindness honors God.

Beauty is Passing

Now that we have deconstructed charm, we can’t ignore the other facet of this verse: beauty. Beauty is defined as an assemblage of properties that pleases the eye.

It’s a tale as old as time, a young woman is praised for her beauty and as she ages she slowly exits the expectations for beauty. Eventually, she is no longer the object of attention because another has fulfilled that standard instead.

Proverbs 31:30-31 is a plea of a mother to her son to consider more than meets the eye. Bathsheba does not want her son to choose a wife solely on flattery or looks. 

A beautiful woman can seem like the perfect choice for a wife, however, if her heart is malicious, her beauty will soon be insignificant. 

Women are much more than looks. Does that mean it’s sinful to want to be attractive? No, desiring to be attractive is not a sin, femininity in itself possesses a certain amount of pleasing qualities including beauty.

We should approach beauty as a secondary focus. When we prioritize our relationship with God and obtain that gentle and quiet spirit through the guidance of the Holy Spirit then we cannot help but become beautiful.

Have you ever heard the phrase “Beauty comes from within”? It is not just some garbage people say to feel better about themselves if they don’t fit beauty standards. A woman who emanates love exudes beauty. She becomes more and more attractive.

That kind of beauty will never fade. You can see it in the kind eyes and deep wrinkles of a woman in her 90s. She surely doesn’t fit the standard but she still exudes beauty. The only possible explanation for that is her spirit permeating around her.

The opposite happens when you get to know someone that seems beautiful on the outside but you find out they are participating in detestable acts. It’s impossible to see them as beautiful after that, no matter how much makeup they put on.

Beauty Fades and Standards Change

The silly thing about beauty standards is that once they are attainable by the masses, they change.

Growing up in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s blonde hair blue-eyed girls with slim boyish figures dominated the beauty standards in my area. 

My ethnic background made that an impossible standard to reach. Most girls had sparkling blue eyes, mine were brown.

 They had naturally straight blonde hair, mine was textured and brown. 

They had rosy skin, mine was olive, so unless I had a suntan I looked yellow and sallow compared to them. 

They had small perfect mouths that looked great in pink lipstick. I had big lips and I couldn’t wear bright lipstick without attracting negative comments. 

They had slim size 0,1,2 figures, I was an hourglass with hips and a butt and a size 4/5 at my smallest. 

Many girls as teenagers never feel good enough. They are told that they are too fat, too ugly, just not enough.

Can you imagine a size 5 girl thinking she was too fat?

After carrying 6 kids, I feel my best when I am a size 8 and I’m still working towards that health standard. 

But as I said, beauty standards change. Fast forward another decade and everything that I am, that I was told was ugly, has become the beauty standard! Some people currently augment their bodies to create a facade that they have these attributes. Why?

The lengths that women go through to fit a beauty standard are insane. We are told to conform or we lack value.

That is a lie. 

If you feel like you are not beautiful because someone told you so, whether it be a person you know or just societal standards, then today is the day you reject that lie and embrace true beauty.

Embrace True Beauty

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Do you think God wanted everyone to look the same, think the same, and have the same interests? No! God is the Artist. He loves our differences. He is delighted by you. He sees the true beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. All the outer attributes, He made those too. 

Who gets to decide which physical attributes are beautiful? I refuse to participate in the madness. 

So dress how you feel good. Wear your makeup if any at all, how you feel comfortable. Arrange your hair however you wish. 

Feel free to let your hair go gray! After all gray hair is a crown of glory for the righteous.

The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness.

Proverbs 16:31 NKJV

Embrace age, embrace this wonderful body that God created just for you!

And be beautiful for the rest of your life. Not because you had to augment yourself to fit a standard, but because your heart is so beautiful that it can’t help but immerse your entire being in that beauty!

The Outcome for a Woman Who Fears the Lord

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates.

A woman who fears the Lord has nothing to worry about, she will be blessed because her heart, her mind, and her strength are focused on the Lord.

When we choose to live our lives for Jesus and focus our entire being on giving God glory, we can’t help but reap benefits from those actions.

We don’t do it for the blessings, but the blessing flows because of who God is. He treasures us. He loves women. He created us uniquely different from men and we fulfill roles no man can. God specifically made man and woman in a way that complements each other. 

That is why marriage is important because it takes two sets of partial attributes and brings them together to make a complete whole. 

When Bathsheba was encouraging Solomon to choose a wife with certain attributes it was because she knew that a woman would have to be strong and dedicated to help him. 

She wanted his marriage to be a blessing. She could foresee that his proclivity towards seductively beautiful women could potentially be a downfall for him.

How to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman

While we study this book, wondering how we can be a Proverbs 31 woman or despair because we can’t possibly fit the mold, don’t get too focused on the list of tasks.

It’s great to desire to better ourselves, to be the best we can be. We truly want to be a good wife, a good mother, a good friend. That is a great desire. But it shouldn’t be our focus.

If we are consumed by performing tasks and attaining the attributes of this valiant woman in Proverbs 31, then we are striving in futility.

Proverbs 31 was written to teach men to look for a real wife, not an object or a trophy. It was to guide them in the right direction and motivation for having a wife. To teach them to treasure their wife. 

Proverbs 31 is great for women to study and it can be transformative when read in the right context. So, shift your eyes from the tasks that this woman accomplished and turn your focus to her heart.

 The Proverbs 31 woman in every verse is motivated by love. She loves God. She loves her husband. She loves her children and the people in her household. She loves the people beyond her home. She loves selflessly to those who can never return her generosity.

So in a world of self-help, self-care, and self-centeredness let’s change a generation. Let’s choose love, not love as the world considers which is synonymous with lust and desire, but love that can only come from God.

Let’s submit ourselves to God and trust His plan for our lives. Let’s submit to and respect our husband. Let go of the propaganda that men are idiots. They are not. There are good, strong, godly men in this world who will love you and cherish you as a daughter of the one true King! 

Let’s make sacrifices in our lives to lift our children and our community instead of only ourselves. Let’s be good friends. To love other women instead of trying to compete with them. 

Tell a woman she looks beautiful if it crosses your mind. You don’t know what kind of day she had or what negative comments she endured. Your observation may have been the only truth she has heard today.

I’m telling you, I truly miss the women from my old church who would tell me I’m beautiful each week. It replaced years of being torn down. Those women had nothing to gain by speaking kind words so it hit me more deeply than it could have if it came from anyone else. Be that kind of woman. One who builds what has been broken, instead of tearing down beautiful things.

Be a Proverbs 31 woman boldly! You already are. Walk in it!

Simple Truths from Proverbs 31:30-31

1. Charm is not a desirable trait.
2. Beauty truly comes from within.
3. You are the Proverbs 31 woman, believe it!

Questions to Ponder from Proverbs 31:30-31:

1. Are there worldly beauty standards that make you believe that you are not good enough?
2. What does God say about external and internal beauty?
3. Find 3 verses that oppose that lie and post them to your mirror so that you can know that you are truly a beautiful creation and fully loved!

As we wrap up this leg of our journey AT FORESTS EDGE, remember that every step brings us closer to a stronger, more vibrant faith. Let’s keep growing hope together!

I hope this in-depth women’s bible study of Proverbs 31:30-31 has blessed you. 

I’d love to know if you have gained insight from the study. 

If you have never accepted Jesus as your Savior you can find out more about salvation.

You can go back and read Proverbs 31:28-29 or feel free to check out my favorite bible study tools.

I’d love for you to be my companion in this journey, join my newsletter, and let’s walk this journey together as we GROW HOPE!

Until we meet again,

Raeanna