Proverbs 31:26 Bible Study | She Speaks With Wisdom & Kindness

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Introduction: Proverbs 31:26 Wisdom & the Law of Kindness

Welcome to our Bible study  ‘AT FORESTS EDGE’! Let’s explore Proverbs 31:26 together!

I am glad you are meeting me AT FORESTS EDGE, where women can study the word of God together and encourage one another while we walk out our faith, embrace womanhood, and live fearlessly.

In this study of Proverbs 31, we will look at the twenty-fifth verse in context. I have broken the chapter up into mini-studies so that busy women like myself can take in the information in just a few minutes each day. 

If you have more time then feel free to continue to the next section whenever you are ready.

This study is perfect for a personal bible study or a women’s small group.

New here? The Proverbs 31 overview sets the stage for the context of the chapter, otherwise, let’s jump right into Proverbs 31 verse 26! 

Proverbs 31:26

“She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Proverbs 31:26 NKJV

Strong’s Definitions of Proverbs 31:26:

wisdom- 

(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible  H2451)חׇכְמָה chokmâh, khok-maw’; from H2449; wisdom (in a good sense):—skilful, wisdom, wisely, wit.

kindness- 

(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible  H2617)חֶסֶד cheçed, kheh’-sed; from H2616; kindness; by implication (towards God) piety; rarely (by opposition) reproof, or (subjectively) beauty:—favour, good deed(-liness, -ness), kindly, (loving-) kindness, merciful (kindness), mercy, pity, reproach, wicked thing.

Proverbs 31:26 Definitions from Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

WISDOM,

 noun s as z. [G. See Wise.]

1. The right use or exercise of knowledge; the choice of laudable ends, and of the best means to accomplish them. This is wisdom in act, effect, or practice. If wisdom is to be considered as a faculty of the mind, it is the faculty of discerning or judging what is most just, proper and useful, and if it is to be considered as an acquirement, it is the knowledge and use of what is best, most just, most proper, most conducive to prosperity or happiness.

Wisdom in the first sense, or practical wisdom is nearly synonymous with discretion. It differs somewhat from prudence, in this respect; prudence is the exercise of sound judgment in avoiding evils; wisdom is the exercise of sound judgment either in avoiding evils or attempting good. Prudence then is a species, of which wisdom is the genus.

KINDNESS,

 noun [from kind, the adjective.]

1. Good will; benevolence; that temper or disposition which delights in contributing to the happiness of others, which is exercised cheerfully in gratifying their wishes, supplying their wants or alleviating their distresses; benignity of nature. kindness ever accompanies love.

There is no man whose kindness we may not sometime want, or by whose malice we may not sometime suffer.

2. Act of good will; beneficence; any act of benevolence which promotes the happiness or welfare of others. Charity, hospitality, attentions to the wants of others, etc., are deemed acts of kindness or kindnesses. Acts 28:2.

Summary of Proverbs 31:26

A virtuous wife speaks with wisdom and instructs others with kindness.

My notes from Proverbs 31:26

Proverbs 31:26 is a Great Memory Verse

Proverbs 31:26 is a good choice for a memory verse. I remember when I was a teenager I had the opportunity to take part in a bible study and the first memory verse I ever memorized was Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,

And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

Proverbs 9:10 has remained with me my entire life. Even when I was not walking with the Lord. It wasn’t until I submitted to Him and surrendered my life to Him as Lord that I actually understood it. 

Once we respect the Lord and give Him the reverence He is worthy of then we begin to obtain wisdom. When we know the Lord then we begin to truly understand wisdom.

How does this verse pertain to Proverbs 31:26? The virtuous wife speaks with wisdom and kindness. The only way she could do so is if she has the wisdom and understanding we gain from God.

Earthly Wisdom vs. Godly Wisdom

There is a difference between earthly wisdom and the wisdom we gain from God. 

Earthly wisdom has to do with the senses and emotions. We gain earthly wisdom by experiencing the world around us. Many people can have earthly wisdom.

Godly wisdom is a reflection of God. Godly wisdom brings us closer to the character and attributes of God which may be in direct opposition to earthly wisdom. The Holy Spirit is our instructor in Godly wisdom. The Word of God is our source for Godly wisdom.

For example earthly wisdom vs. Godly wisdom:

My daughter has a t-shirt which says “Follow your heart”. It is a pretty green shirt with gold lettering that she received as a gift. However whenever she wears it she knows her dad is going to comment “Follow your heart? “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” Which is from Jeremiah 17:9 if you would like to look it up.

In this case “Follow your heart” would be considered earthly wisdom. This pretty phrase sounds great. Follow your heart, be happy! But our hearts may tell us to do the exact thing that will ultimately lead us to our suffering or the suffering of others. Our emotions change so suddenly that we cannot rely on them as a compass. Emotions can be manipulated, they are not a reliable source of wisdom.

The Bible makes it clear that our hearts are desperately wicked. My husband taught this lesson around Valentine’s Day for many years to the teenagers in his youth group. What a great Valentine’s message, “ Happy Valentine’s Day, so you want to give someone your heart? Well it’s deceitful and desperately wicked and who can know it?” 

I’m sure it came across as a shock at first, but the truth of the matter points us to our need for God. That our fleshly desires and the desires God has for our lives are very different things. 

My husband’s hope for those teens was for them to realize the heart of God and to desire a better way. That way, when they got married they would know how to truly love sacrificially. When both spouses put each other first, they both win!

The problem comes when we follow our hearts. Our hearts might tell us “Oh, I don’t feel in love anymore.” or “I feel in love with another person instead.” 

Godly wisdom would direct us to think “How can I communicate with my spouse and fix the problem.” Godly wisdom reminds us that feelings are temporary and things can change for the better. Love is a choice and an action, not a feeling. Marriage is a covenant for life. 

I understand some situations aren’t that simple especially if safety is a factor. God knows some situations require different choices. This train of thought is specifically for Christian marriages that do not have a problem with safety.

Proverbs 31:26 Instruction in Kindness

Proverbs 31:26 also highlights that the virtuous wife instructs with kindness. It is important to consider the way we give instruction. Sometimes we can come across as harsh or condescending. But kindness is different from niceness. This verse doesn’t mean we need to flatter and sugar-coat things.

Kindness is not Always Nice

I teach my children to be kind. I told them the difference between kindness and niceness is like this: If their bike gets run over by a car and someone walks by and sees it all mangled and says “Oh no! Your bike is ruined. I’m sorry you are going through that. I hope you get a new bike soon!” Those people are being nice but not kind. 

Then a neighbor comes by and says “Why the heck did you leave your bike out on the road? That was a stupid thing to do. Never leave your bike on the road!” Then he picks up the bike takes it into his garage and fixes it. He may not have said the nicest words but his actions were kind. He gave instructions, that you shouldn’t leave your bike on the road, then he found a solution to help fix the bike. That is true kindness.

Sometimes kindness involves speaking a harsh truth which may be painful to hear in a moment but will lead to better decision-making down the road.

Proverbs 31:26 is the perfect memory verse because it is a reminder that we should get our wisdom from God and be active with true kindness to those around us. 

The Law of Kindness

I would be remiss if I just focused on the word kindness. Proverbs 31:26 states “The law of kindness is on her tongue.” The Hebrew word for law is Torah. 

Torah means law or instruction, especially emphasizing the Decalogue (The ten commandments) and the Pentateuch (The first 5 books of the Bible).

Mentoring other women, especially those younger or new to the faith is important. Women who are mature in their faith and age have gained wisdom that should be shared. All women are encouraged in the bible to teach younger women the matters of life, including marriage, children, and how to conduct themselves in all matters.

The Word of God is the perfect guide for all the matters of life. If we are helping and instructing others in the law of kindness, we will uplift each other instead of tearing each other down. 

Women Need Community

Women tend towards being critical or catty. This is probably why I preferred to hang out with a group of skater boys during my teenage years.

However, now as a Christian wife and mother, I desire the friendship and community of other like-minded women. It is refreshing to realize that, in Christ there is hope. The Holy Spirit convicts us of our wrong ways of thinking and acting and helps us to be uplifting towards each other. We pray for each other and help each other, there is no longer competition, just community.

What to Do When We Fail

I’m not saying it’s perfect, we all fall short sometimes. The Lord is always working on my heart. The Holy Spirit shows me when there is an issue that He wants to deal with. One thing I noticed in myself is that I can sometimes have a critical attitude towards people. When I became aware of critical thoughts, I felt bad because my goal is to uplift women, all women. Even if they are behaving in a way that I don’t quite understand.

In that instance, I realized the issue wasn’t their behavior. The Lord wanted me to see that I had a pride issue. We should never compare ourselves to others. When we begin to compare ourselves we can fall into the trap of pride which is difficult to overcome, but not impossible with God. 

So, instead of getting irritated with their behavior, I think, how can I help this person? How can I best serve them? And of course, I pray for them. When we pray for people who irritate us or even our enemies, it softens our hearts towards them and brings our hearts and minds closer to that of our Father in Heaven. He always has patience and compassion for us.

My goal in memorizing Proverbs 31:26 is to remind myself of the bigger picture. It reminds me to always seek the wisdom of God and speak with wisdom. This verse also reminds me to be kind in words and actions.

Proverbs 31:26 is a Lesson for Men

Proverbs 31:26 as it pertains to men has a different lesson. As we have discussed in prior lessons remember Proverbs 31 was not written to women so that we can fulfill a checklist on what it means to be a good wife. Proverbs 31 was written by King Solomon and it was a lesson his mother taught him, especially on how to find a good wife. 

When men are reading Proverbs 31:26 it is an instruction to look for a wife that has and desires the wisdom of God. A wife who instructs others in kindness. 

If a man only considers a woman’s looks and does not pay attention to her speech, he may end up regretting his decision. Beauty can be captivating, but a critical heart can make the most beautiful woman seem hideous. Some translations call these types of women odious which according to Noah Webster is something worse than repulsive.

O’DIOUS, 

adjective [Latin odiosus, from odi, I hated, Eng. hate.]

1. Hateful; deserving hatred. It expresses something less than detestable and abominable; as an odious name; odious vice.

All wickedness is odious

2. Offensive to the senses; disgusting; as an odious sight; an odious smell.

3. Causing hate; invidious; as, to utter odious truth.

4. Exposed to hatred.

He rendered himself odious to the parliament.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary

 And vice versa, a woman who doesn’t attain the world’s standards of beauty (Whatever those are, they are always changing anyway so don’t worry about them!) but is kind-hearted, will be the most beautiful and captivating woman. 

This is true about men as well. Never judge a book by its cover. And when someone reveals who they are, believe it and run!

It is not our job to change people. Only the Holy Spirit can do that, and they must be willing. God will never force anyone to change.

We can examine our hearts and decide if we are willing to allow God to transform us. Beyond that, you can pray. When it comes to a spouse you must choose someone who is already like-minded and teachable when the Holy Spirit is working in them.

Simple Truths from Proverbs 31:26

1. Wisdom comes from God!
2. Speak with wisdom and instruct with kindness.
3. Pray always!

Questions to Ponder from Proverbs 31:26:

1. Has the Holy Spirit revealed something in you that needs to change?
2. Are you kind?
3. Who can you speak to with wisdom and instruct with kindness?

As we wrap up this leg of our journey AT FORESTS EDGE, remember that every step brings us closer to a stronger, more vibrant faith. Let’s keep growing hope together!

I hope this in-depth women’s bible study of Proverbs 31:26 is a blessing to you. 

I’d love to know if you have gained insight from the study. 

If you have never accepted Jesus as your Savior you can find out more about salvation.

The next study is Proverbs 31:27. Or you can go back and read Proverbs 31:25 or feel free to check out my favorite bible study tools.

I’d love for you to be my companion in this journey, join my newsletter, and let’s walk this journey together as we GROW HOPE!

Until we meet again,

Raeanna