Proverbs 31:12 | Bible Study | Pursue Good Always

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Introduction: Proverbs 31 Bible Study verse 12 Bible Study | Know the BIBLE series

Welcome, to the bible study series Know the Bible: Proverbs 31 verse 12. I am glad you are meeting me AT FORESTS EDGE, where women can study the word of God together and encourage one another while we walk out our faith, embrace womanhood, and live fearlessly.

In this study of Proverbs 31:12, we will look at the twelfth verse in context. I have broken the chapter up into mini-studies so that busy women like myself can take in the information in just a few minutes each day. 

If you have more time then feel free to continue to the next section whenever you are ready.

This study is perfect for a personal bible study or a women’s small group.

New here? The Proverbs 31 overview sets the stage for the context of the chapter, otherwise, let’s jump right into Proverbs 31 verses 11!

Proverbs 31:12

“She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:12 NKJV

Proverbs 31:12 Strong’s Definition:

Does him- (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible H1580)גָּמַל gâmal, gaw-mal’; a primitive root; to treat a person (well or ill), i.e. benefit or requite; by implication (of toil), to ripen, i.e. (specifically) to wean:—bestow on, deal bountifully, do (good), recompense, requite, reward, ripen, serve, mean, yield.

Good- (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible H2896)טוֹב ṭôwb, tobe; from H2895; good (as an adjective) in the widest sense; used likewise as a noun, both in the masculine and the feminine, the singular and the plural (good, a good or good thing, a good man or woman; the good, goods or good things, good men or women), also as an adverb (well):—beautiful, best, better, bountiful, cheerful, at ease, × fair (word), (be in) favour, fine, glad, good (deed, -lier, -liest, -ly, -ness, -s), graciously, joyful, kindly, kindness, liketh (best), loving, merry, × most, pleasant, pleaseth, pleasure, precious, prosperity, ready, sweet, wealth, welfare, (be) well(-favoured).

Evil- (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Bible H7489)רַע raʻ, rah; from H7489; bad or (as noun) evil (natural or moral):—adversity, affliction, bad, calamity, displease(-ure), distress, evil((-favouredness), man, thing), + exceedingly, × great, grief(-vous), harm, heavy, hurt(-ful), ill (favoured), + mark, mischief(-vous), misery, naught(-ty), noisome, + not please, sad(-ly), sore, sorrow, trouble, vex, wicked(-ly, -ness, one), worse(-st), wretchedness, wrong. (Including feminine raaah; as adjective or noun.)

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary Definition of Proverbs 31:12:

TREAT, verb transitive [Latin tracto.]

1. To handle; to manage; to use. Subjects are usually faithful or treacherous, according as they are well or ill treated. To treat prisoners ill, is the characteristic of barbarians. Let the wife of your bosom be kindly treated.

2. To handle in a particular manner, in writing or speaking; as, to treat a subject diffusely.

3. To entertain without expense to the guest.

4. To negotiate; to settle; as, to treat a peace. [Not in use.]

5. To manage in the application of remedies; as, to treat a disease or a patient.

GOOD, noun That which contributes to diminish or remove pain, or to increase happiness or prosperity; benefit; advantage; opposed to evil or misery. The medicine will do neither good nor harm. It does my heart good to see you so happy.

There are many that say, who will show us any good Psa 4.

1. Welfare; prosperity; advancement of interest or happiness. He labored for the good of the state.

The good of the whole community can be promoted only by advancing the good of each of the members composing it.

2. Spiritual advantage or improvement; as the good of souls.

3. Earnest; not jest.

The good woman never died after this, till she came to die for good and all.

The phrase, for good and all, signifies, finally; to close the whole business; for the last time.

4. Moral works; actions which are just and in conformity to the moral law or divine precepts.

Depart from evil, and do good Psa 34.

5. Moral qualities; virtue; righteousness.

I find no good in this man.

6. The best fruits; richness; abundance.

I will give you the good of the land. Gen 45.

E’VIL, adjective e’vl. [Heb. to be unjust or injurious, to defraud.]

1. Having bad qualities of a natural kind; mischievous; having qualities which tend to injury, or to produce mischief.

Some evil beast hath devoured him. Genesis 37:20.

2. Having bad qualities of a moral kind; wicked; corrupt; perverse; wrong; as evil thoughts; evil deeds; evil speaking; an evil generation.

3. Unfortunate; unhappy; producing sorrow, distress, injury or calamity; as evil tidings; evil arrows; evil days.

E’VIL, noun evil is natural or moral. Natural evil is any thing which produces pain, distress, loss or calamity, or which in any way disturbs the peace, impairs the happiness, or destroys the perfection of natural beings.

Moral evil is any deviation of a moral agent from the rules of conduct prescribed to him by God, or by legitimate human authority; or it is any violation of the plain principles of justice and rectitude.

There are also evils called civil, which affect injuriously the peace or prosperity of a city or state; and political evils, which injure a nation, in its public capacity.

All wickedness, all crimes, all violations of law and right are moral evils. Diseases are natural evils, but they often proceed from moral evils.

2. Misfortune; mischief; injury.

There shall no evil befall thee. Psalms 91:10.

A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself. Proverbs 22:3.

3. Depravity; corruption of heart, or disposition to commit wickedness; malignity.

The heart of the sons of men is full of evil Ecclesiastes 9:3.

4. Malady; as the king’s evil or scrophula.

E’VIL, adverb [generally contracted to ill.]

1. Not well; not with justice or propriety; unsuitable.

Evil it beseems thee.

2. Not virtuously; not innocently.

3. Not happily; unfortunately.

It went evil with his house.

4. Injuriously; not kindly.

The Egyptians evil entreated us, and afflicted us.

In composition, evil denoting something bad or wrong, is often contracted to ill.

Summary of Proverbs 31:12

A virtuous wife will always choose to do good to her husband. She will not act or desire to cause him harm. She is committed to blessing him with her actions for the rest of her life.

My notes from Proverbs 31:12

How the Marriage Covenant Applies to Proverbs 31:12

Verse twelve speaks of commitment. When we get married as Christians we make what is supposed to be an unbreakable, life covenant to each other. We are pledging our entire life and being to this person, essentially becoming one. 

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary says good is to diminish or remove pain, or to increase happiness or prosperity; benefit; advantage; opposed to evil or misery. That is a powerful position a wife has in her husband’s life. With just a look and a few words, you have the ability to lift him up or tear him down.

The proverbs 31 wife is dedicated to bringing good to her husband. She knows when she does well towards him, she is benefitting herself as well because they are one. It’s not like a master-servant relationship. There is equality, yet different roles. 

God is authority

God is the most important person in your marriage. I remember being taught the marriage triangle. God is at the top and the husband and wife are at the bottom. The closer each gets to God, the closer they are to each other. Part of getting closer to God is trusting Him in the roles He set up from the beginning. 

Our role as wives is not to be a beaten down servant in a marriage, just as our husband’s job is not to be a neglected cash cow. Each person in the marriage is important and must put the marriage before their own selfish desires. 

Using Proverbs 31:12 to Examine Our Motivation

As a wife, we must be conscious of all of our actions. How we act, speak, and think of our husbands. Are we behaving in a way that is blessing him? Or are we causing him pain?

When we do good toward our husbands it also blesses us. When we take care of our home he has a place of peace to come home to. A place that will make us feel at ease as well. When we think kindly about him, our actions are reinforced with that kindness and our attitude and words are kind. Having a genuine love for our husband makes us feel good when he is around. 

Am I saying you are not a good wife unless your house is perfect? If that were the case I would be a failure. We have 5 kids and all too often life happens! I try my best to get my home in order, we are still in the process of minimizing our belongings to make our lives easier. Our home may not always be perfect, but having the motivation and mindset to make your home peaceful will bless you and your husband.

As a wife, we have immense power in setting the environment for our home. When we feel out of control, there is a ripple effect that eventually influences everything else. We can choose whether we want our home to be a haven or a place of torment. 

Practicing Proverbs 31:12 With Our Words

The environment of the home is not only the cleanliness of the house itself but the words and emotions that fill the home. Proverbs repeat the sentiment of what comes from an angry wife. 

 The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.

Proverbs 19:13

Better to dwell in the wilderness,
Than with a contentious and angry woman.

Proverbs 21:19

It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

Proverbs 25:24

The way we speak to and about our husbands will affect the atmosphere of the home. The Bible says it’s better to live in the wilderness, or on a corner of the roof than with a contentious woman. Contentious is defined as quarrelsome or perverse. Those are not attributes I want my husband to think of when thinking of me and I’m sure he wouldn’t want me to think that way about him either.

The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. A leaky faucet can be annoying but this analogy is likely closely related to the act of waterboarding. When a woman is continually disparaging, fighting, and nagging her husband, he feels like he is being tortured. 

When women complain about their husbands to other people it not only tears down the reputation of that husband but also her own reputation. 

Complaining about our husbands is a welcome and expected pastime in this culture. After all, we live in a time of feminism, where women can not only do all that men do, but we can do it better. In fact, the current narrative is that the men didn’t know what they were doing in the first place. The media portrays men as buffoons that couldn’t survive without a woman. Women are goddesses and should embrace their inner divinity by focusing on themselves and pushing men down. But is that the truth?

No, not at all. A Christian wife should cringe at the thought of disparaging her husband as much as gossiping about another believer in Christ. Our husband is a part of ourselves. What is our motivation for destroying the man we pledged our life to? Will it fix the problem? Probably not. If men were such buffoons why would we marry them in the first place? When you first met your husband did you think he was a weak dummy? Or did you see him as strong and capable?

When women are tearing their husbands to shreds it’s usually not going to happen only once and it makes them look like bitter and angry people themselves. Oftentimes, they are the antagonist because of their lack of respect in the home. The love-respect cycle needs to be balanced by both spouses to create harmony. 

Many women have a negative attitude towards all men. While I can’t speak to the root of the problem because each individual has had their own experiences, in many cases it can be unjustified hostility. Unforgiveness can create a root of bitterness in us that blossoms out of control and twists itself around the good we have in our lives. Often damaging people that are innocent and have no connection to the original problem that hurt us in the first place.

Choosing forgiveness and kindness shapes who we are. If we want to become strong, wise women who nurture those around us and spread love, then we have to align our thoughts and actions to the obedience of Christ. If we fall into the trap of bitterness and pride it will eat us away until we cause destruction all around us. Every relationship will suffer if our heart does not belong to the Lord but to our own selfishness.

I have no desire to be a goddess, but a daughter of the One True King, that I can get behind!

I want my words to be full of grace so that my husband and children will feel loved, safe and undamaged by my presence in their life.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

If there is abuse in the home, then please, seek help from an outside authority. God does not want his children being abused. These notes are not speaking towards abuse. It is focusing on Christian marriage and attitudes in general and how our thoughts can shape our actions.

Do you want to be right, or in love?

When it comes to doing good and not evil, our actions and words go a long way.

Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the struggles and lose sight of what is important. I don’t remember where I heard this from exactly, but it sticks with me as my own proverb, “Do you want to be right, or in love?” I choose love.

I chose to focus on the atmosphere of the home instead of the obvious marital vows that people often break because we can often overlook our attitude and not understand why things are going wrong. Often times the bigger problems start out as communication problems that lead to pride, bitterness, and resentment and open a door for other sins. Sometimes it’s just as simple as asking the Holy Spirit to help you to make your home a haven. I pray for peace not only within my home but also within myself that will surpass all understanding. This is my prayer continually, I need all the help I can get!

Remember marriage is a covenant. Keep your word and your promise to bless this man all the days of your life! He is expected to do the same and he has to answer to God for how he treats you.

This doesn’t mean we won’t have bad days. Actively choosing kindness can be hard when difficult circumstances and painful emotions are involved. We also should have grace for ourselves.

But what if your husband isn’t responding lovingly back to you? Do it anyway. Our actions are a reflection of ourselves, not the other person. Forgiveness frees us from the burden of bitterness, not the person of their guilt in the matter. It might take time but your actions are speaking to him whether he admits it or not. Never lose hope!

Choose good, not evil insights from Proverbs 31:12

1. The kind words she speaks to her husband build him up, she does not undercut him.
2. Her heart is set to bless him and respect him.
3. She has grace for her husband as she would like grace in return.
4. Forgiveness is pivotal to keeping a marriage healthy. 
5. Do you want to be right, or in love?

Questions to Ponder from Proverbs 31:12:

1. What kind of atmosphere is your home currently?
2. What are your thoughts toward your husband?
3. Are there things you would like to start doing that you haven’t done before that could be a blessing?
4. List 3 good things about your husband and think about them.

Thank you, for meeting me here, AT FORESTS EDGE. I hope this in-depth women’s bible study of Proverbs 31 is a blessing to you. 

I’d love to know if you have gained insight from the study. 

If you have never accepted Jesus as your Savior you can find out more about salvation.

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Until we meet again,

Raeanna