Homeless to Artist: A Story of Hope

A Fearful Child

My childhood was wrought with abuse by my brother’s father. He did harmful things to me for years that never made sense. He dehumanized me by calling me her, you, it, but never by my name. He constantly told me I was worthless and ugly.  I remember being afraid to get off the school bus when it was his day off work and my mom was working.

I spent as much time as possible escaping to my great-grandmother’s where I felt safe. I also had an amazing grandfather who would come over and take me to the movies or wherever he felt like going and in those moments I felt peace.

I coped by becoming an overachiever. I  felt like if I performed well enough in school I could be loved. I even gave my brother’s father a medal I had won from a talent show hoping that maybe he would not hate me anymore. Nothing was ever enough. 

My nickname on his side of the family was Cinderella, and they would laugh about the way he treated me. 

I felt worthless. Because of the trauma, I have a lot of gaps in my memory where my brain blacked parts of my life out. Some of my memories I wish were blacked out.

I felt abandoned by my mother at that time. I didn’t know she was going through her own trauma. I just wanted her to protect me. It would be years before she got out of her unhealthy cycle. But she did and I am so thankful. Especially for her husband whom I now call JoeDad.

Repeating Patterns of Abuse

Eventually, I followed the same pattern she did. I found myself with an abuser who told me I was worthless and that he could kill me and get away with it. His family would cover for him.

I was so broken and at the end of hope that I cried out to God. I asked Him why I was ever born? I was abused as a child, I was abused as an adult. I was worthless so why did He even make me?

I was at the end of myself. I told God I was sorry for my sins, I knew that  I was not living according to His word. I cried out, if there is any hope for me, save me from this. I don’t want to live my life this way anymore. I don’t want my children to grow up with a man who murdered their mother. I would live completely and utterly sold out for God if He would save me.

I Died to Myself so I could Live

  I submitted my life and made Jesus my Lord.  As a teenager I got baptized and I truly believed He was my savior. But I had never truly made Him my Lord until that point. I felt a peace wash over me that I couldn’t explain and I knew that God had heard me. I knew that He saw me. I was never the same again. He changed my heart, my way of thinking. I longed for more of Him and I studied His word every single day as much as I could.

 I prayed for protection and tried to live in a way that would bring my abuser to the Lord. I thought, if he was saved then he would be a different person, he wouldn’t hurt me or try to kill me and maybe I could even love him. 

I got brave enough to ask him to let me go to church. He did allow me but when he was there he would worship satan during the worship music, mostly to make me uncomfortable. Or he would send his mother with me to make sure I wasn’t talking to anyone.

Then the abuse took a turn from me and started towards my children. My pastor’s wife found out and called social services. 

Homeless, Jobless, Fearful

In 2015 my 2 young children and I found sanctuary in a women’s shelter/ safe house. I was scared for my life. I could barely eat and it took all my strength just to take my kids out and push them on the swings. Which I did quite often. I was in survival mode. I am grateful to have had a safe place to sleep, food to give my children, and advocates to come alongside me at such a desperate time.

I was blessed to have had a support system given to me by the grace of God. I had no family in the area but people in my church at the time stepped up to help us as best as they could. After my stay at the shelter I moved into the Hope House that the church had made available. I was able to do side jobs and eventually find a part-time job which gave me the schedule to be able to work during school hours. At the exact moment the church decided they wanted to use the Hope House for other purposes I found out that I had been moved to the top of the list for Section 8 housing assistance which previously had a 2+ year wait. 

I found a house in an undesirable area, however there was a strong, kind woman who lived across the street named Lil Mama. She told me she was a retired police officer and she made sure that no one in the area would bother me or my children. 

Building My Life Back

I submitted my resume to a local radio station because I had graduated from college for broadcasting communications years earlier. They hired me. As my income increased I was slowly able to stop relying on assistance. I took time to heal and build a new life. It wasn’t easy and it did not feel quick at the moment. We still had court and hardship to overcome. But God was faithful to provide everything I needed in the moment.

My faith in Jesus is the most important part of me and it is pivotal to my story. Without the Lord, I would not have this hope today. The Lord showed me I was precious, not worthless. I learned that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that God has good plans for me, to give me hope and a future! 

I chose to make Jesus my first love and let the Lord do a healing work in my heart and mind. Eventually when I was ready, He brought a godly man into my life!(The Lord told me about my husband in a supernatural encounter of the Holy Spirit but that’s a story for another time.)

The Lord Gave Me My Husband

 My son started telling me about his best friend at church. I thought it was a little boy until I found out it was the youth pastor who had taken compassion on this wild child and would let him sit barefoot (he was always losing his shoes) and play on his phone. He didn’t even get upset when my 3 year old son deleted all his progress on his games.

It amazed me to see that he was the only man that did not terrify my daughter. Her biological father’s presence would often make her shake uncontrollably which was noticed by a man at church who eventually became a grandfather figure to my children. She was a scared little girl. But she called the youth pastor a nice man and would even let him pick her up.

During the year following my stay at the shelter I got to know this man platonically. We did not date for the first year because I was not yet legally divorced and we wanted to do things the right way, but we spoke often, we got to know each other well. 

He Proves to Me I Am Precious

We both opened up about the good, the bad, and the ugly and surprisingly he didn’t run away. He treated me like I was precious. Someone worthy of respect and kindness. Not like an object to be used and abused which is all I could see of myself prior to that. I was so broken. 

Eventually, we began to go on dates and he proposed. We got married quickly after the proposal, but what spoke volumes to me was that he waited to be intimate with me until we were married. I didn’t know that men existed that would do that. It was important to him that I knew my value and that our marriage would be blessed and it is! And I do!

Praying for My Children’s Protection

My children still had to go back and forth from their biological fathers house because the court system is very careful not to take the rights of a father away. Which is good for good fathers that don’t deserve to have their children taken away. But not so great for women and children that come from abuse situations. I was terrified for my children every time I had to let them go there. I kept them in therapy because it was a stressful time. It helped me learn how to parent them while they had severe emotional outbursts and signs of continued abuse but no definitive proof to do anything about it. 

Then one day, while they were there he got arrested for driving intoxicated over 3x the legal limit with not only my children but his girlfriend’s children as well. I chose not to let them go back there no matter what consequences I would face. I had to protect them. Even if it meant jail for not obeying a custody agreement.

 I filed for a change of custody. He was granted supervised visitation only which He chose not to participate in. A social services case worker called me and told me that he had been arrested for severely harming his girlfriend’s 2 little boys and that he should never be permitted to be around children. I was so glad my children were safe but heartbroken that other children were being harmed.

Adoption is Beautiful

2 years later he had never called or made any attempt to contact my children so we went forward with plans for my husband Josh to adopt them both. 

They were elated! The court approved termination of parental rights and then the adoption was final!

During those years we were blessed with 3 more children and a daughter in heaven. 

Our home is a safe, peaceful (not quiet) but peace-filled place. My children get to have a stable environment and grow up with an amazing daddy ( something I have never experienced as a child). 

I thank God Every morning for my husband, our children, a roof over our head, and food in our pantry. 

Overwhelmed by Blessings

Waiting on God for my spouse is worth it because he has attributes I never knew I needed!

Now, I get the privilege to be a stay-at-home mother and homeschool mom, not because I was not allowed to work ( which was the case in the past) but because I chose to. My husband took the financial burden of providing for our family entirely on his shoulders. He is a mechanic and we don’t make a lot of money. More often than not we struggle. But I know the Lord will provide, because He always has, even when I was homeless with 2 young children. God is so good!

Now that we have our last baby, I began to branch out and start my own business. During the pandemic, I learned how to garden and homestead to supplement produce and eggs for our large family. I was amazed that I could grow plants! I wanted to share that knowledge with others so they too can learn these skills. I started a website www.atforestsedge.com where I wrote articles and blog posts with information for beginner gardeners and homesteaders. 

I became an Artist

Then I taught myself how to paint with watercolor. I was so excited I wanted others to experience these amazing paints so I wrote articles about how to begin painting with watercolor.

I began creating watercolor art with the intention of blessing others. I wanted to make paintings that would speak life into people and encourage them with the word of God. My series “Flowers of the Spirit” based on Galatians 5:22-23 The Fruits of the Spirit has opened up opportunities for me to pray for other women who are deeply moved and desperate for the love of God. I never imagined people would desire to buy my art let alone be touched so deeply by it. It’s a humbling experience.

I also became a certified herbalist and started my own brand of artisan teas called Verdant Hope Tea & Botanicals. It is amazing the things you can accomplish when you step out in faith. 

Writing and Illustrating a Book

This past year the Lord has put on my heart to write and illustrate a bilingual children’s book that would point women and children to hope in times of fear. Once I finish the watercolor illustrations and self-publish the story I want to get these books into the hands of women and children who are currently in DV Shelters. I also desire to give monetary support to the DV shelters so they can have the necessary support to continue the important work they are doing. 

The Lord used the shelter as a stepping stone to change the culture of abuse and the direction my children and I were in. Their work matters! Lives are changed! There is hope!

As J.R.R. Tolkien so beautifully wrote “ This world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all the lands love is mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

I am thankful for their love. It takes great compassion to do the work they do. We need more people in this world who sacrifice for others. Especially for the abused women and children who have never experienced what love truly is.

Continuing the Cycle of Hope & Freedom

I would love to see more stories like mine. Lives changed! Children who have hope and a future! The end of the cycle of abuse! For women to know their true value! Trusting God to be what they need, not attention from a broken human. Not settling for anything but God’s best. 

I would love to have the opportunity to speak face-to-face with the women who are currently in the shelter. If there is ever an opportunity to come in and show them, that I was there, I know what they are going through, I have faced those fears and can tell them there is hope! Almost a decade later I am still living a beautiful life with my children. It does happen! 

For those who don’t know the Lord the way I do, I pray they will be open to hearing my testimony. I had never known true love until I had experienced the love of God firsthand. I hope they can feel completely known and completely loved and healed as well.

Jesus changed my life. He gave me hope and a future. He took me as a wretch who ended up in a DV homeless shelter with nothing to offer and made me a child of God. His princess. A wife of a good man who has a calling on his life I pray one day he will be brave enough to take the next step. A mother of many little blessings. An artist and so much more.

Self-Portrait to Share My Story

My story inspired me to create this self-portrait. So I can share this with whoever is meant to hear it.

I made an art nouveau-style watercolor painting inspired by the works of Czech artist Alphonse Mucha. I titled the painting Ri Alfirin, an elvish word that translates to crown immortal or as I like to think of it, crown of life.

In the painting, I am wearing a sackcloth and ashes representing the state I began in. I am not wearing any makeup with eyes that are tearing up and overwhelmed with thankfulness for the crown that was placed on my head and the key to the kingdom in my hand that I did nothing to earn. 

My lips are dry because I thirst for more than water. My soul longs for the Lord in a dry and weary land. 

The deer drinking water at the top right is immersed in the water. As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for my God. In the Bible, deer symbolize God’s blessings, grace, and sure-footed reliance on the Lord during times of crisis.

The dove in the left corner is holding an olive branch representing the Holy Spirit coming over me. Also, it represents God’s presence, new beginnings, reconciliation, and peace.

The Moon and the stars represent the created light that is ever present and illuminates the darkness. The moon reflects the sun like I wish to reflect the love of Jesus.

The tree and river at the point of the frame represent the tree of life, and being planted by a river of water.

The owl at the bottom left represents wisdom while the lamb is a nod to my name. Raeanna. Rae means ewe which is a female sheep and anna which means grace.

The loosely painted gold rose on the right is a nod to my great-grandmother whose name was Rose.

The dragonfly clinging to my hair represents wisdom, resilience, and adaptation to change. The Lord would often surround me with dragonflies as a reminder to hope in Him even when all seemed hopeless.

The Luna moth at the bottom signifies new beginnings and represents a continuing quest for truth and knowledge. Looking toward the light.

The lily on the left bottom represents purity, commitment, and rebirth. The Lord has cleansed me completely and put His perfection on me making me pure.

The peony on the right bottom symbolizes happiness, love, honor, romance, and beauty. It also reminds me of a loving lady who sometimes brings me and others peonies as a gift.

The sunflower necklace represents joy and strength, with their strong tall stems they are always looking towards the light!

The crown was inspired by the elvish crowns in Tolkien’s works. They were always my favorite. His stories were a beautiful escape of the mind when I was a child.

I probably think way too much into the details but I hope this painting encourages you.

It was my first time painting a full-color portrait, let alone a self-portrait.

I hope you are encouraged to share your story as well.

You Can be Saved Too

If you haven’t asked God to intervene in your life I hope you know that it is never too late and you are never too far lost. Remember, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

All who call on the Lord will be saved!

All you have to do is make the choice today to believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and confess with your mouth that God raised Him from the dead.

And you will be saved!

May God bless and keep you, and make His face shine upon you, and give you peace.

You are fully known and fully loved.

Hang on to hope.

Youtube Video of the Painting Process Homeless to Artist an Extraordinary Journey of Hope!

UPDATE: I DID IT, I WROTE A BOOK!

I am ecstatic to announce that my mission to write and illustrate a children’s picture book has been realized. It is officially published as of October 21, 2025! I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do with this book and the lives He is going to impact for the better!